PETA wants to save Sturgis

by Andrew Howard (Staff writer)

PETA, a very rational group of animal lovers, has inserted itself into the controversy surrounding KSU’s  owl mascot.

Oh, you didn’t know there was a controversy around Sturgis? Neither did I, but allow PETA to fill you in:

There is no way for the university to guarantee Sturgis’ safety at these events. Just last year, a bald eagle who was forced to “entertain” the crowd at an Oral Roberts University rally slammed into a window and fell to the floor. In a similar incident, a condor broke loose from her handler at a professional hockey game and slipped and struggled on the ice, crashing into a Plexiglas barrier before hurrying backstage as quickly as she could. Intelligent, sensitive birds simply do not belong at sporting events.

Bird-related sports trauma is no laughing matter, says PETA. I agree with that, but should an organization fighting for the respect of animals limit the ability of said animals to watch sports? 

“Intelligent, sensitive birds” are the only sort of birds that belong at sporting events. Uneducated birds probably wouldn’t even understand sports at all.

But bird law confuses even the brightest lawyer, so I suggest we take notes from the primary avian law expert, Charlie Kelly.

 

Please rate this article!